All Posts By

Deborah

Health & Fitness Lifestyle

Fitness Journey – Making Time

August 31, 2017

I hear a lot of people ask me this question, “Where do you find the time?”

Well, being a stay at home chihuahua mom and blogger, my schedule is very flexible. However, without judgement, I am curious if “no time” is an excuse for some negative experience, lack of motivation, poor body image or for me at times, fear of injury or being “watched” at the gym. I have always believed that if you truly want something; you would fight for it. You make the time and commitment.

Here are a few of my ways that I inspire myself to make fitness a part of my day, everyday.

  1. Plan, Plan and Plan Some More – I write out my schedule for the week. With technology today, I can set reminders on my Iphone and computer.
  2. Find a Partner/Friend – Although at times, I do like training by myself. Sometimes I need a buddy to inspire me to keep going and attain those goals. Cheerleaders are a must so grab a friend and take a fitness class, Zumba, run or weigh train together.
  3. Music – I have created a kick ass playlist to fight through a workout. Pandora and other phone applications have amazing stations to choose from as well. So, create that list to inspire you to cruise through that workout. You would be glad you did!
  4. Home Gym – I have created a small in-expensive gym with free weights, mats and DVDs. If a hiccup is thrown in my schedule and can’t hit the gym, I know that I can walk downstairs to my basement and get some type of work out in. Also, if you can’t afford a gym membership, this is a great alternative as well. It allows you to have a private area where you can move at your own pace and not feel pressured by others or causing yourself any injury.

Exercise is important on so many levels. Please take time out for yourself and improve your health; even if it is one step at a time. Do you have a tip on how to stick to a fitness schedule?  Please email me or comment below.  I would love to hear from ya.

 

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Food & Drinks

Southern Style Collard Greens

August 21, 2017

As a Southern girl, collards greens are a must have at the dinner table. The history of this green goes way back to prehistoric times but the style of cooking it came from African slaves. The plantation kitchens gave their help any leftovers and with that said, nothing was every wasted including pig’s feet or ham hocks.

When I was a little girl, my grandmother cooked collard greens by the stockpot full. These greens would simmer for hours. Mind you, collard greens is from the cabbage family and can create strong smell of awesomeness to some and for others, not so much.

Here’s how to cook up some mess o’ greens:

Ingredients

1 Mess o’ Collard Greens – cleaned, patted dry and vein removed.

1 Package of Bacon

1 Valdia Onion

1 Box of Chicken Broth

2 Tablespoons of Sugar

Salt & Pepper to taste

1/3 cup of Apple Cider Vinegar

  1. Prepare  your greens by removing the large middle vein and cut into small squares. I roll my greens, cut them up and put in my large stone oven.
  2. Cook the bacon until it’s nice and brown, dab the bacon with a paper towel to take off any extra grease, dice up and put in stone oven.
  3. Now, in the same pan you cooked the bacon, dice up your valdia onion and cook until golden brown. Once done, place the cooked onion in the stone oven.
  4. Now you are going to add 1/3 cup of apple cider vinegar, 1 box of chicken stock, 2 tablespoons of sugar, a smidge of salt & pepper and a cup or two of water. You need to make sure that the greens have enough liquid because you are going to bring to a boil and then reduce heat to a simmer for the next 1.5 to 3 hours depending on the amount of collard greens in the stone oven.
  5. Continue to check on the collard greens throughout the cooking time. Some greens are more tender than others and can cook pretty quickly.
  6. If you have a person in your family that is allergic to poultry, you can remove the chicken broth and replace with water. Please make sure that you have enough water slightly covering the greens.

Let me know how your collard greens turned out! I would love to hear from you. Feel free to email me or comment below.

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Lifestyle Rescue Spotlight

Rescue Spotlight ~ Virginia

August 14, 2017

On August 4th, I received a text from one of my girls, Kayla about a Craigslist ad. It said Rehoming a Senior Chihuahua,(21 years old). Normally, I don’t respond to these ads, but I do forward them to local small dog rescues. I did forward it to one rescue but I was so taken in by the picture and the story.

Mind you, Craigslist can be a very scary place for animals and humans. With that said, I responded to the ad via text and email. The lady responded quickly and the conversation began. I was apprehension and scare but after each bit of information came to light and verified to be true (internet is a great tool, btw), I opened my heart more and more.

This is the one time that I think Craigslist did a good thing.  I was able to truly connect with the owner of this dog, who was rehoming her daughter’s dog because her work schedule didn’t allow her enough time to care for her, to feel comfortable enough to finally chose me. See, her daughter passed away 4 years ago. This dog is a reminder of her daughter,Kaylie and the bond they share for animal rescue. Even if I didn’t get her, I knew that I was meant to help her heal in some way. With the strength and love of this woman, she gave Virginia to me and I am internally grateful.

So, please welcome the newest addition to my family, Virginia Kaylie Cockrell-Duchemin.

 

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Advice Column Lifestyle

Setting Personal Boundaries

August 4, 2017

Wait one cotton-picking minute!

In the South, this phrase has been known to be a polite, ice breaker in difficult conversations or when putting a stop to any nonsense which leads to my topic for today, setting personal boundaries.

I received an email from a viewer of my site that wanted advice on establishing boundaries. Well, I explained that I might not be the best person to advise her on this particular topic because I am still trying to master it, myself.

On my wedding day, I had the privilege to have a wonderful man raise a toast and give the sweetest, most inspirational speech about making deposits and not withdrawals in the marriage. I feel that this speech outlines everything you need to know in any relationship. See, deposits are being kind, thoughtful, understanding and expressing tenderness or gratitude in your marriage or relationship account. Withdrawals are checks of negativity, hurtfulness, infidelity and the list could go on. You never want a negative transaction to take over your marriage or relationship account, because it will overdraft or end it.

Over the years, I have experienced enough one-sided relationships that have taken a toll on me emotionally, physically and financially. Because of these experiences, I developed anxiety and experience many panic attacks with certain situations or individuals. With that said, developing and maintaining a healthy boundary and encircling yourself with like-minded people is vital for your health and well-being.

Here’s a few ways to start building a boundary…

  1. Put yourself first. It’s so important to know and understand what your limits are and to give yourself permission to think about yourself first. This action alone will make you a better wife, mother or friend.
  2. Direct and Clear Communication. Some people are pretty open to communication on boundaries and respect it. Others may give you a little push back. Boundaries are healthy and a sign of self-respect. You can’t own their response and must not feel guilty for communicating it.
  3. Seek Support. If you don’t know how to begin to develop a boundary, you might want to find a therapist, support group, church or good friends to give you some pointers on where to begin.

I hope my response provides some comfort and insight into building better boundaries and maintaining them. Thank you so much for connecting with me and feel free to email me anytime.

 “Your personal boundaries protect the inner core

of your identity and your right to choices.”

 ~ Gerard Manley Hopkins

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Dog Training Lifestyle

5 Ways to Celebrate a Senior Dog!

July 25, 2017

I think that having a senior dog is Awesome! Not many people see the enjoyment that I get from adopting or owning a senior dog, but I am about to throw down some serious information on how to celebrate a senior!

  1. Enjoy the nap time schedule. You will feel well-rested.
  2. Take plenty of selfies. Your picture taking skills will improve a 100%.
  3. Go on special road trips. I thoroughly enjoy taking my Meg on road trips to Dunkin Donuts for a plain donut hole and ice coffee for me.
  4. Use them as a taste tester in your cooking lesson. Meg thoroughly enjoys tasting all the wonderful dishes that my husband prepares that doesn’t include any foods that upset her stomach or is harmful to her. (i.e. onions, raisins, chocolate, etc.)
  5. Do some online shopping together. Curl up on the couch with the IPad and shop for some new eye catching fashions for you and for them.

Now, there are so many more and the list could go on forever. Now it is your turn, tell me how you celebrate your senior dog. I look forward to hearing from ya.

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Advice Column Lifestyle

When Friendships Come & Go

July 19, 2017

Friend (noun) – one attached to another by affection or esteem; one that is not hostile; one that is of the same nation, party or group; a favored companion. Merriam-Webster

I truly believe that our life is ever evolving. As one chapter closes, the opportunity to begin a new chapter is right around the corner. Over the past 30 years, I have come across some amazing people that, to this day, have left a lasting impression of genuine warmth, love and kindness. With that said, I have meant some people that I thought were my friends and have been the complete opposite; to the point of being painfully heart breaking. The reason for my heartbreak was because my expectations were set high and in there, lies the disappointment.

There are many reasons why friendships change or fade away.  Of course, change can be somewhat of a good thing or extremely painful but the only way to uncover your life’s new adventure is to experience it.

Two Many States Away

When you are no longer within a comfortable distance to get together, it can put a kink in your relationship. Those wonderful girl dates is what keeps the relationship fresh and bonded.

New Job, Marriage, Babies and More

Again, life is ever evolving. Friends have so many things to accomplish in their lives. Marriage, babies, promotions and all of this things will change the dynamic of a friendship. For some, it will unleash a wealth of emotions that are welcoming and then, there are those emotions that will challenge the friendship.

It’s one sided.

I have experienced the one-sided friendship. I stay connected by making calls, remembering birthdays/anniversaries, sending cards and letters, and for me, I was left feeling that I am the only one that is invested in this friendship.

“People come into your life for a reason, a season or a lifetime.” ~ Michelle Ventor

I try not to reflect on the pain of saying goodbye or ending a friendship, but reflect back on my many memories and the lessons that I have learned from each of them.

Today, it is safe to say that I have some very cool friends. I am very blessed to have such beautiful people in my life. Each of them brings kindness, honesty, warmth, safety, and challenge me to step outside my comfort zone. For those reasons and many more, I am so grateful.

“Some People come into our lives and quickly go.

 Some stay for a while, leave footprints on our hearts,

 and we are never, ever the same.” ~ Flavia Weedn

Have you struggled with a change in your friendship? Have you been going through a rough patch or been ghosted and don’t know why? Please comment or send me an email. I would love to hear from you.

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Rescue Spotlight

Gizmo

July 7, 2017

Photo Credit: MSPCA at Nevins Farm

This precious senior boy is looking for his new forever home with kids, a cat or another dog.

  • 12 years, young
  • Weighs 8 lbs
  • Fully vetted, neutered and ready to go!
If you’re interested in adopting Gizmo, please submit an application to MSPCA at Nevins Farm.

MSPCA at Nevins Farm

400 Broadway, Route 28
Metheun, MA, 01844

(978) 687-7453

Email: methuen@mspca.org

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Advice Column

Ask Ms. Deborah – Finding My Passion

June 30, 2017

Dear Ms. Deborah,

I am at a road block. I want so desperately to find a job that I’m passionate about. No matter how hard that I try, I can’t seem to find that one thing that drives me to get up every day and pays enough for me to live comfortably.  Do you have any ideas on how I can figure out my passion?

Sincerely,

Extremely Confused

 

Merriam-Webster defines passion as “intense, driving or overmastering feeling or conviction”.

Everyday people are trying to figure “it” out. What is it that I want to do for the rest of my life? People are hanging in limbo focusing on trying to find that one thing they are passionate about and make them happy. Honestly, I think that many people go about finding their passion the wrong way.

Our minds can be our worse enemy by over analyzing everything. Well, even for me, a lot of time and energy is wasted with all of that mind trash.  I truly believe that people can have more than one calling and enjoy life to the fullest.

With that said, here are my suggestions on finding your passion:

  1. Mediate – Being still and quieting your mind can push aside all the noise, thoughts and emotions so you can open your heart to finding what truly makes your happy.
  2. Journal and write down a list of your skills – By writing a list of what you can do, you can find out what you hate and what you love. Note, you can do more than one thing. It’s better to have options. It keeps life interesting, because boring is out of the question.
  3. Let go of any fear – As you may know, fear can prevent you from accomplishing your goal. When you come to a moment of fear, write down everything about that fear on a piece of paper. Then write out a plan to overcome it. Taking steps, even baby steps, is moving forward!
  4. Be enthusiastic with everything you do – Being enthusiastic about everything you touch creates a wonderful habit and opens up opportunities. Nobody likes a whiny, oh poor me person hanging around them.
  5. Stop talking and start doing – Now that you have a plan, it is important to take the steps and don’t stop. That is where the passion comes in. When you have that “intense, driving or overmastering feeling or conviction”, nothing will stop you from achieving your goals.
  6. Not everyone will understand your vision – You don’t have to explain your dreams or justify your actions to anyone, because it is not their path. It is important to surround yourself with individuals that will help stay focused and push you towards your goals.

I hope this helps. Stay in touch and let me know how you are doing.

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Random Acts of Kindness

Kindness Cards

June 21, 2017

When was the last time you received a card or letter?

It was probably on your birthday or special event, like an anniversary, wedding or graduation. I don’t know about you, but I love receiving handwritten notes from anyone.

With technology today, yeah, it is easier to just send an email or text, but, for me, it has so much more meaning to having a card or letter delivered via snail mail. It’s personal and something that you can hold onto forever!

So.. Let’s pay it forward together. As I am sitting here writing out my cards, I am asking for you do to the same.

  1. Pick a person. It can be a friend, co-worker or complete stranger.
  2. Pick a card, write a sweet note and ask that person to do the same.
  3. If you want, you can insert a stamped envelope and another card to help them out.
  4. Seal and mail.

This random acts of kindness warms my heart each and every time. I am positive that it will do the same for yours.   Please share your story of kindness by commenting below or private message me. I look forward to hearing from you.

 

“Nothing can make our lives, or the lives of other people, more beautiful than perpetual kindness”  ~ Tolstoy

 

 

 

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Advice Column Dog Training

Ask Ms. Deborah – Dog Cues

June 20, 2017

Dear Ms. Deborah,

I am trying to teach my dog some commands. My husband says that I using the wrong words for what I am asking our dog to do. For example, I am using down to get off the furniture. My husband thinks that I should say “off”. In order to settle this argument, what are some of your words that you have used to train your dog?

Sincerely,

Newbie at Dog Training

Dear Newbie,

One, I would like to say thank you for taking the time to work and bond with your dog. I think that it is awesome that you are setting your dog up for success by teaching him some manners. As far as words, it is whatever you want them to be. However, I will list some of the words that I use and why I use those particular ones.

  1. Off – I use this word to teach my dog to stay off me, furniture or anything that my dog is on.
  2. Down – I use this word to place my dog in a down position.
  3. Lay – This words means for my dog to lay on its side. I never use Lay or Down together.
  4. Show me – This cue means for my dog to roll over and show his stomach.
  5. Wait – This means wait for a minute. For example, I use this cue when I am at the top of the stairs and want to walk or bring something down without my dog knocking me over to get to the bottom of the stairs first. When I am at the bottom of the stairs, I will say my “release” word and he is free to come down the stairs.
  6. Stay – Stay means exactly that. If I place my dog in a stay position, he can’t move until I come back  to him to “release” him from that stay.
  7. Release – This word means to my dog that he is are all done with my request and free to do whatever he wants.

I hope this helps you and your husband. Let me know how your training sessions are going.  Please feel free to comment below or private message me.

 

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