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Advice Column Lifestyle

The Power of Love: Nurturing Relationships on Valentine’s Day

February 8, 2023

Love, an emotion that transcends cultures and boundaries, is one of the most profound and cherished aspects of human existence. It has the remarkable ability to bring people together, create lasting bonds and provide a sense of purpose in our lives. This Valentine’s Day, we celebrate the significance of love and relationships and explore ways to nurture and strengthen these precious connections.

The Significance of Love and Relationships

Love and relationships play a pivotal role in our lives, shaping our emotional well-being, happiness, and overall quality of life. Whether it’s the love between two romantic partners, the bonds shared with friends and family, or the deep connections formed with mentors and colleagues, these relationships have a profound impact on our sense of self and our place in the world. Love provides emotional support, comfort during tough times and a sense of belonging. It inspires us to be better, to grow and to care for one another.

Ideas for Meaningful and Unique Valentine’s Day Celebrations

Valentine’s Day offers a perfect opportunity to celebrate love and relationships in all their forms. Instead of defaulting to the clichéd gifts and gestures, consider meaningful and unique ways to make this day truly special:

  • Create a Memory Book: Compile photographs, mementos, and notes that capture your journey as a couple or your relationship with a loved one.
  • Plan a Surprise Adventure: Plan an exciting adventure or road trip to a place that holds significance in your relationship. It could be the location of your first date, shared interest, or simply a place you’ve always wanted to explore together.
  • Volunteer Together: Giving back to the community can be a profound way to bond. Volunteer at a local charity or organization that’s close to your hearts. The act of helping others can bring you closer and provide a sense of fulfillment.

Tips for Improving Communication and Strengthening Relationships

Strong and lasting relationships are built on effective communication, trust, and mutual respect. Here are some tips to help you improve communication and strengthen your bonds:

  • Active Listening: Truly listen to what your partner or loved one is saying without interrupting or formulating your response. This demonstrates that you value their thoughts and feelings.
  • Open and Honest Conversations: Foster an environment where both parties can openly express their thoughts and feelings without judgment. Honesty is the foundation of trust.
  • Surprise Gestures: Keep the spark alive by surprising your loved one with small, thoughtful gestures of affection, even when it’s not a special occasion.

This Valentine’s Day, let us celebrate the power of love, not just with chocolates and roses, but with meaningful gestures and a commitment to strengthening the connections that enrich our lives. By practicing open communication, trust and the art of thoughtful celebration, we can nurture and cherish the bonds that mean the most to us.

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Lifestyle

Opinions.. We all have one but do I?

April 4, 2021

Oh Boy…

Nowadays, the topics of discussion are either politics, employment, Covid 19, the shots or vaccines, economy, and more. The several news outlets are constantly reminding us of what most people are passionate about or trying to avoid talking about.

See, I do have opinions. Mostly likely, I will keep them to myself. I will tell you a few things.

I believe…

  1. Stepping up and protecting those that are hurting,
  2. Feeding the hungry,
  3. Being kind,
  4. Being compassionate,
  5. If you can say something nice, don’t say anything at all.,
  6. And most importantly, If someone tells you something in confidence, don’t repeat it. It Ain’t your Story to tell!

“I’ve had to go against all kinds of people through the years just to be myself. I think everybody should be allowed to be who they are and to love who they love.” ~ Dolly Parton~

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Advice Column Dog Training

Ask Ms. Deborah – Dog Cues

June 20, 2017

Dear Ms. Deborah,

I am trying to teach my dog some commands. My husband says that I using the wrong words for what I am asking our dog to do. For example, I am using down to get off the furniture. My husband thinks that I should say “off”. In order to settle this argument, what are some of your words that you have used to train your dog?

Sincerely,

Newbie at Dog Training

Dear Newbie,

One, I would like to say thank you for taking the time to work and bond with your dog. I think that it is awesome that you are setting your dog up for success by teaching him some manners. As far as words, it is whatever you want them to be. However, I will list some of the words that I use and why I use those particular ones.

  1. Off – I use this word to teach my dog to stay off me, furniture or anything that my dog is on.
  2. Down – I use this word to place my dog in a down position.
  3. Lay – This words means for my dog to lay on its side. I never use Lay or Down together.
  4. Show me – This cue means for my dog to roll over and show his stomach.
  5. Wait – This means wait for a minute. For example, I use this cue when I am at the top of the stairs and want to walk or bring something down without my dog knocking me over to get to the bottom of the stairs first. When I am at the bottom of the stairs, I will say my “release” word and he is free to come down the stairs.
  6. Stay – Stay means exactly that. If I place my dog in a stay position, he can’t move until I come back  to him to “release” him from that stay.
  7. Release – This word means to my dog that he is are all done with my request and free to do whatever he wants.

I hope this helps you and your husband. Let me know how your training sessions are going.  Please feel free to comment below or private message me.

 

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Advice Column Dog Training

Ask Ms. Deborah – How to stop dogs from jumping?

May 3, 2017

Dear Ms. Deborah,

I saw that you offer dog training advice so I am wondering if you can help me with my dog jumping on everyone. How do I get this big lug to stop jumping on me or my family? When anyone comes in the door or visits, my husband thinks it is funny and encourages it when he comes home.

 Sincerely, Frustrated Wife

Dear Frustrated Wife,

I am so sorry that you are experiencing this exuberant greeting from your dog, but it is not uncommon. Dogs jump up for many reasons. One, it is a form of greeting and if rewarded, it will continue. Two, if the dog adds in licking of the face, it is offering a peacemaking behavior and hoping someone will regurgitated their food. As gross as this sounds, it’s a win for him.

Before I begin on the steps of how to train your dog to stop jumping, you will need to express the importance to all of your family of why it shouldn’t take place. If anything was to happen to a small child or to grandma, all of you would be heart broken. You can explain to your husband that your buddy can continue to jump up but only when given permission to do so.

How to train your dog to stop jumping?

  1. Don’t make a big deal coming or going from your home. Raise your hand, come on! I know that all of you have come in the front or back door all excited, talking in that high pitched baby voice getting your buddy all worked up and BAM, the jump. For me, it is best to come in the home quietly and calmly. This type of entry reduces the excitement at the door.
  1. Ignoring the behavior you don’t want and redirecting to a behavior you do want. I highly encourage you to watch your dog closely. He will give you a cue of when he is going to jump. If he does jump up, turn your back and don’t encourage it. When he offers four paws on the floor, reward with either a small treat or your attention, calmly. Also, if you have small children coming home from school, please help them get in the door and assist them in training the correct behavior.
  1. Manage the dog and his environment. As you and your immediate family practice the new ground rules and begin to teach Fido what is expected now, it is important that friends and extended family understand the importance too. Don’t allow your dog to practice the behavior ever. Because the more he practices it, the better he will get at it. You will have people constantly trying to booger up your training by saying that they don’t mind the dog jumping up, but stay the course.
  1. Tips and Tricks. You can ask friends and family to call or text before coming over so you can manage your dog’s success. It is important to have control of your dog at all times. A leash is a great way to have that control. If you feel that your dog will be unsuccessful greeting people at the door at this stage of his training, you can place him into a secure area until all of the excitement at the door has calmed down.  At that time, you can leash and calmly walk him over to greet all of those wonderful people.
  1. What not to do! This is the part that I beg that you don’t get frustrated. Adding excitement to the situation will only make it worse. Please don’t knee him to the chest, yell, punch, push or cause any other pain to your dog. I have seen many people use alternative methods and it will make your dog become terrified of you and never really learn the behavior that you are asking for in the first place.

If you dog has any other behaviors such as growling or biting with the jumping, I highly recommend you working with a dog trainer that specializes in behavior modification.

 

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