Monthly Archives

November 2017

Advice Column

Ask Ms. Deborah ~ Girls don’t chase boys.

November 27, 2017

Dear Ms. Deborah,

I have a wonderful, brilliant daughter but there is one thing that drives me nuts; chasing boys. How do I stress to her not to chase boys? I keep telling her that courting is an art form that is lost among boys or men today. Her response is that I am old school and times have changed.

Deeply Frustrated,

A Devoted Mom

 

Dear Devoted Mom,

Although I don’t have a girl, I do feel your frustration. As a mother of a son, I would try so hard to teach him how to court a girl and he would look at me like I had three heads. He would say all the time that it sounds like too much work. For example, opening a door or car door didn’t even come close to happening. Mind you, he did it for me but he would say that girls don’t want it and of course, he gave up. On one particular date, he described how he would get to the girl’s front door of her home, she would run pass him to get to the car, hop in and say, “Let’s go!”

Today’s dating trends are so hard to understand but teaching your daughter that she is much more important than what the world is throwing at her as a standard for the moment. With that said, here are a few ways to throw in a conversation about dating and how it includes her.

Chase your dreams; Never boys

Girls are so much more mature than boys anyways. Reminding your daughter that boys are great companions but never needed to make her life great. It is important for her to find herself first, accomplish all those goals, explore and travel the world and then when ready, open her heart to find that perfect match. Every daughter must understand that they are a great catch and when it comes to the matters of their heart, patience is a virtue.

Capture their heart; Not their attention

When girls chase boys, they don’t work as hard to talk, write special notes or coordinate those amazing dates. I am not saying that girls shouldn’t socialize or start a conversation with a boy, but there is nothing wrong with setting a standard of how they are going to develop a friendship that just might lead to something greater and long lasting. Dating is a way of building a friendship. Friendship leads to romance and then to a long, lasting marriage.

Communication; Not Texting

 Texting is the new form of communicating and dating. I have seen many couples out on a date that are continually on their phones texting friends and to each other! Although texting is a tool for quick and easy conversation and checking in, it does not replace face to face conversation. Texting is not meant to workout arguments or make life decisions with each other. Your daughter should understand that dating includes conversations and life experiences.

I hope my thoughts on dating helps you. Please feel free to reconnect with any updates. I would love to hear from you.

 

 

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Dog Training

Teaching “Leave It”

November 8, 2017

When welcoming our newest addition, Virginia into our home, I knew that I had to show her the ropes and teach her some cues. All I thought about was the fun ones like high five, weaving and sit pretty.  Until, I noticed that Virginia was a confident girl and was challenging for hierarchy in the home. I already had one confident girl that ran the roost before her arrival, but, now, I had to manage any moments so they didn’t escalate. Both of my Chihuahua girls don’t have any teeth. Well, let me correct that statement; Virginia has no teeth but Meg has three left and one being a canine.

As I incorporated some fun cues, I was so very thankful that I taught the cue “leave it”. Leave it is a cue that I think all families should teach their dog. It immediately tells your dog don’t even try to eat it, touch it, growl at it or run for it.

One day, I fed both my girls peanut butter Kongs, separately. Once they were both done, I removed the Kongs to ensure that nobody got an attitude or possessive over a high value item. Little did I know that some peanut butter residue was still on a blanket. Virginia crept up while Meg was licking. I thought Meg cleaning herself but nope, it was a little bit of high value peanut butter left on that blanket. Within seconds, the ruckus erupted. See, I didn’t yell out their names or get angry when that moment happened. I yelled “Leave it”!  It worked. They both jumped off the blanket as if a snake was about to bite them. Calm was instantly restored.

How did I teach the cue “Leave it”?

Here are my steps to teaching the cue, “Leave It”:

  1. Leave a small item that dog might desire some distance away you.
  2. Place the dog on leash by your side. If the dog looks, pulls or shows unwanted behavior, wait for it to be calm and return a look at you.
  3. When the dog ignores or disengages, click and treat. Once the dog has mastered this behavior, you can add the cue.
  4. To strengthen this cue, you can slowly get closer to the item and again, repeat that process of clicking and treating for leaving the item alone.

Another way of teaching “Leave It” is by having a treat in one hand, opening that treat hand to show the dog the item to engage his senses and then close your palm. If the dog stops pawing, licking or nudging and removes himself from the item, remove the hand/item away and then click and treat with other hand. Please note that the dog should never be rewarded with the item you are telling him to ignore.

“Leave It” is a cue to have in your tool bag. Imagine how many baths you won’t have to do because you yelled “Leave it” before your dog rolled in that high smelling horse, dog or rabbit poop! Wait, even better… How about saving your dog from ingesting medicine that fell off the counter or nowadays, a possible poisonous treat left behind by some sicko while your walking the neighborhood or local trail.

Victoria Stilwell ~ Teaching “Leave It” Video

Let me know how your training session is going. Feel free to comment below or email. I would love to hear from you.

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Rescue Spotlight

Mila

November 7, 2017

Photo Credit: MSCPA at Nevins Farm, Methuen, Massachusetts

Mila is a beautiful 10 year old Pit Bull Terrier located at the MSPCA at Nevins Farm in Methuen, Massachusetts. This darling girl is full of energy and loves to eat. She tends to be a Tigger and bounce, so a home with older children would be best. Let’s pass this along to find her forever home quickly.

  • 10 years of age, Pit Bull Terrier
  • From Puerto Rico
  • Walks nicely on leash
  • No Cats, please
  • For a multiple dog home, meets and greets are necessary to ensure the right match.

For more information, please contact the MSPCA at Nevins Farm at (978) 687-7453. Their shelter is located at 400 Broadway, Route 28, Methuen, MA 01844.

MSPCA Adoption Center

Mila’s Petfinder Profile

 

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Lifestyle

My World of Blogging and More

November 4, 2017

First of all, who would’ve ever thought that I would be trying this thing called blogging. Reaching into the depths of my soul and sharing my thoughts, tips and tricks of dog training, Southern advice and of course, my many adventures with the loves of my life, Meg and Virginia.

The things that I have learned from starting this blog is that opening up into the social media world is extremely hard for a private, Southern girl but exciting all the same. It does take time to create articles that are fun, inviting, uplifting and that inspire thought provoking conversations.

I have been out of the corporate world for 8 months. Being a Stay at Home Chihuahua Mom/Blogger has allowed me to pick and choose my schedule, projects such as personal/corporate service jobs and volunteering and for that, I am grateful. The downside is that there are some days that I have a very hard time motivating myself.  A lot of things crept into my world and distracted me lately. These distractions made me lose focus of what was important, me!  With that said, I have created new goals for myself and I inspire you, my viewers, to do the same.

Health & Fitness

Of course, the most important goal is to take care of myself. Fitness has been the one thing that has been consistent during my life hiccup. I take pride in working out or going to the gym 5 to 6 days a week. However, I have lost about 7 pounds because of stress and now, it’s time to gain the healthy fluff back. It is important to track my food and ensure that I am getting all the necessary nutrients to fuel my body and grow those muscles. Additionally, I will be working with my trainer to set new personal record goals and track my progress.

Blogging

I truly want to share new thoughts, advice, my rescue spotlights and more at least 3 times a week. I always say, never over promise and under deliver. Again, it’s a goal and well, I will do my darndest to make it happen.

Personal/Corporate Services

I truly love mixing up my day or weeks with creative projects. I am lucky enough to have connections with a variety of people that have been very kind to throw fun and challenging projects my way. It is my goal to reach out a little more and make a little more fun money too.

Volunteering

I am very honored and privileged to be a hospice volunteer. I have done many vigils and got to know some beautiful people this year. It is my goal to connect with other volunteers or resource groups to share my stories of loss and find other ways to give back to my community.

In Closing..

I love being a Stay at Home Chihuahua Mom/Blogger. I am truly grateful for this opportunity. When any hiccups comes my way, I am proud to say that I have such amazing group of people in my life that provide such a support system that I can’t fail.  So, thank you for hanging around while I figure out my new adventure.

Do you have any tips and tricks that keep you motivated? I would love to hear from you. Share your thoughts by commenting below or via email. I would love to hear from you.

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